Elf
by DaemonicKitten
Summary: (Sorry about the title, I couldn't think of anything better last minute) It's almost Christmas time, and the twins are up to no good. Again. Small amount of Sam/Mikaela. Two-Shot. COMPLETE. Sleep-deprived work of randomness.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer** : I don't own Transformers or any of its affiliates. I only own my OC(s).

**Summary** : It's almost Christmas time, and the twins are up to no good.

**Author's Note** : It's a little early for Christmas but this one bit me in the aft and I _had_ to give it a try. That being said, I apologize if it's not that interesting. I've been _really_ struggling with my plot bunnies for the past...well...year? Two? Three, since I last posted a full story (other than my Reign story)? I'm really just posting whatever I have that can be classified as complete, since right now I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel, so to speak.

So this was written Tuesday night, with little to no editing, no BETA reader, and after pulling an all nighter and being awake for over 30 hrs straight.

FYI: To get the full effect, keep in mind I'm using 'Elf's 'SANTAAAA!' from the movie, so imagine that. ;)

**Legend** :

"Speaking"

_Thoughts_

:_Internal Coms_:

**(POV/Time Changes)**

**xXx**

**xXx**

**xXxInsertCleverPageBreakHerexXx**

Sam walked through one of the halls in the massive island base, lost in thought and humming to himself as he thought over his life. How quickly he'd gone from zero to hero. From dreaming of the girl and car of his dreams, to actually _having_ them. It never ceased to amaze him, really.

It shouldn't have still shocked him. It happened months ago, and he and Mickey were going strong, but it was just..._so hard_ sometimes, _not_ stepping back and taking a good look at his life and going 'Holy fragging hell!'.

He thought of Mikaela and how he ended up with her.

He thought of Bee, how he'd ended up with him, and how the incredible bot had _always_ had his back.

In fact, he was so lost in thought, that he completely missed the fact that he hadn't stopped at the base 'intersection' and had almost been trampled by Ironhide, who immediately muttered curses at him. And he missed Ratchet chasing the younger twins down a hall, the trio leaping over him with ease, leap-frogging over him to avoid crushing him before continuing on. And then there was Prowl, standing off in a side hallway, staring blankly at nothing. And the snickering older Chevy twins.

That last one was probably dangerous.

Snickering twins?

Yeah, not usually something to be ignored.

And yet, the only thing on his mind was Mikaela's sparkling eyes and breath-taking smile. And her long, _long_, shapely legs, and her toned, flat stomach, and her full, round-

"_Sam_!"

Jerking in surprise, he blinked out of his thoughts, only to see the very goddess standing before him, leaning against the ever shiny, new-looking hood of the 2007 Bumblebee Camaro behind her. She wore short jean cut offs and a form fitting tank top, with her long, dark hair flowing loosely around him.

_Yeah._ He smiled, watching her straighten and walk over to him with a smile. _I'm one lucky guy._

She smiled at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pecking him on the lips slightly, leaning against him.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, marvelling in the fact that this was _real_. He stared into her endlessly _blue_, blue eyes, unable to shake the disbelief that the girl he'd loved for _years_ was _actually_ his-

And then two voices were echoing slightly through the hangar as two large bots entered and began across the large, open area.

"Are you _certain_?"

"Indeed."

"This is most concerning."

"Optimus. Ratchet. Hey."

The two bots in question paused automatically and turned towards the source of the voice. The large, blue and red flame decaled bot inclined his head the moment his optics landed on the two tiny humans a small ways away, and the slightly smaller yellow bot at his side scoffed and huffed loudly, before beginning towards them.

"Ahh, perfect! Mikaela Banes. I require your presence for further training." He knelt in front of her, holding out a hand for her to climb on. "Preferably immediately."

"Do I wanna know?" She asked hesitantly, kissing Sam on the cheek before hopping on the palm held open for her, and clinging to the thumb without hesitation.

Ratchet's engine grumbled loudly as he straightened. "Security cameras caught the terror twins in my medical bay earlier. They were clearly looking for something, but the fraggers have learned the positions of my cameras and they know how to avoid them perfectly. I do not know _what_ they were into, but knowing them there will be some sort of fall out, and most likely _I_ will have my servos full with the two of them in my med bay soon enough."

Mikaela stared at him a moment, before glancing to Prime, who only inclined his head silently, to looking down at Sam. "Yeah, I so didn't wanna know." She spoke with exasperation, before rolling her eyes. "I'll see you tonight, handsome! Doc Hatchet and I have some work to do."

"My designation is not 'Doc Hatchet'." Ratchet grumbled sourly.

She grinned at him. "Oh, I know!" Then, waving to the Autobot leader, her boyfriend and her guardian, she sat patiently in Ratchet's palm as the Autobot C.M.O walked off with long, purposeful strides, grumbling the entire way.

**xXxInsertCleverPageBreakHerexXx**

**(That Night)**

Tension was high.

Mikaela finished her training hours ago, and now she lay across Bumblebee's hood, next to her boyfriend. The two teens stared at the sky, but she had a good feeling he was paying about as much attention to the gorgeous sight over their heads as she was.

"Nothing's happened yet. I...I think I'm _actually_ kinda worried."

Yep. His attention was _so_ not on the pretty stars overhead.

"Me too."

"Their pranks usually don't take _this_ long to manifest...right?"

"Nope."

"Do you think maybe they're _not_ planning something, and Ratchet was seeing things? Or maybe their prank was messing with Ratchet's optics?"

"Doubtful." Making a face, Mikaela rolled onto her side, curling up in the crook of Sam's arm and basking in the heat from his body. "Sam...they were _smirking_, earlier." She shivered, and not from the cold.

Sam shivered as well. "Oh, Primus!"

Nodding, Mickey curled in deeper against him, staring worriedly at the forest around them.

Smirking twins were _never_ a good thing.

**xXxInsertCleverPageBreakHerexXx**

**(Three Days Later)**

Nothing happened.

You'd think after days of peace and quiet, the base would settle down. Bots would stop walking on egg shells, humans would stop jumping at shadows, and people would stop being wary of...well...everyone and everything.

They did.

Slowly, bit by bit, the members of N.E.S.T. began to relax, believing that maybe, just _maybe_ they'd over reacted for once. After all, the twins were pranksters but not one hundred percent of the time. Despite what most thought, they _did_ have the capacity of being decent, capable warriors. And even _they_ had lost their smirks as they walked past, so all warning signs had faded.

Now, Optimus was standing at the briefing with Lennox, Prowl, Epps and a handful of N.E.S.T. dignitaries. He was giving a report on the list of items they needed to repair damaged bots, as well as materials needed to work on upgraded defenses. The entire meeting was average and boring and_ looong_...and just when William Lennox was about to doze off, despite his _valiant_ attempts not to, he heard his name being called.

"And now, I believe Major Lennox would like to speak to you concerning...'hosting a party' for Christma-"

"_SANNTAAAA_!"

...

Have you ever seen a twenty-eight foot tall sentient robotic being jump five feet in the air?

Well now everyone in that office could officially say they _had_.

Optimus, in one of his _less_ regal moments, literally _left_ the ground with the force of his startlement, before whirling around and staring with wide optics at the being behind him. For a long moment not a single sound was heard other than the suddenly loud revving of a certain police cruiser's engine.

Well, until Epps snorted loudly and began to literally _choke_ on the force of his laughter.

That seemed to set every one of the humans off, and soon the room was filled with laughter. In fact, Optimus himself had to deploy his battle mask to hide the trembling of his lip plates as he seemed to try to hide his amusement and face off against his Second in Command...who looked blankly at him.

"P-Prowl?"

Prowl's optic twitched and his head jerked ever so slightly in a rapid twitch, before he shook his head and fluttered his door wings. "Forgive me Prime. I fear I do not know what-"

"Well, I think it's safe to say we know what the twins did." Lennox cut him off with a grin, standing slowly. "Gentlemen-" He turned to the dignitaries, many of which were _still_ chuckling and giggling quietly. "-I think we may need to post the discussion of our Christma-"

"_SANNTAAAA_!"

The humans and bots exchanged looks, and this time, not even Prime himself could fight off the laughter, despite the look Prowl was sending him.

Yeah, the twins were _so_ fragged.

**xXxInsertCleverPageBreakHerexXx**

**(Elsewhere)**

"Hey Bee! 'Hide!" Sam walked over to the two bots sitting with Ratchet and Jazz out on the tarmac, staring up at the sky. "Have you guys seen Optimus?"

"I believe they were-Oh! There they come, now."

Prime and Prowl were heading briskly towards them. That, in itself, wouldn't have been odd...if a giggling Lennox wasn't half dragging a breathless Epps who had tears trailing down his face, and was _also_ giggling madly. Both men sounded ridiculously like a giddy Homer Simpsons as they seemed to struggle to retreat into a distant hangar. The group stared as the very clearly _amused_ Prime headed their way (who still had his battle mask engaged to hide the grin his optics were displaying clearly), with a very clearly _annoyed_ Second in Command behind him.

"Prime? Has something happened at the meeting?" Ironhide tilted his head curiously.

Sam frowned. Optimus was amused, Prowl was annoyed and Lennox and Epps were beside themselves with laughter. Oh yeah, _something_ had happened. Then, remembering about the meeting and what it was about, he groaned a bit. "Oh man, please tell me they at least approved of the Christma-"

"_SANNTAAAA_!"

Everyone jumped as the shout echoed around them.

Everything went still.

Then Ironhide's optics twitched.

Prowl's door wings stiffened.

Sam snorted.

Mikaela tried (and failed) to hide her startled laughter behind her hands.

Jazz blinked blankly.

Bumblebee stared a moment, said frag it all, and fell over laughing.

Everyone was staring at Ironhide, who looked more than a little mortified. Well, before the expression darkened into something far more sinister.

"Y-You too, old f-friend?" Optimus' voice hitched quietly.

"The twins?"

"It seems we found out what they were planning. I can only guess they were looking at blueprints of our vocal modification schematics and decided to manufacture a 'glitch' of their own." Ratchet seemed to immediately realize what was going on, and shone a scanner on Ironhide and Prowl briefly.

"Really? A vocal remodification?" Jazz tilted his head, _very_ amused. "Well, it could'a been worse, I s'pose."

The bots seemed to take that into consideration. A slight vocal remodification? Yes, that _was_ rather mild..._if_ that was all the bots had done. Optimus nodded severely at Jazz's words, though his optics were laughing at his two dear friends. "Indeed. It appears whenever someone says the word 'Christma'-"

"_SANNTAAAA_!"

"..._That_ happens..."

By this point Bumblebee's two charges _and_ Jazz were rolling on the ground next to him, laughing hysterically. And over at the hangar, Will had long ago collapsed, both him and Epps twin piles of twitching, vibrating flesh and laughter.

The bots remained still as Ratchet (grinning all the while, because _slag_ he was enjoying this!) scanned them relentlessly and muttered to himself about the work the twins had done.

"So it seems that whenever the English word 'Christma-"

"_SANNTAAAA_!"

"-is muttered, their reaction is to scream that word out like excited little sparklings? Well, I dare say the twins' timing couldn't have been more perfect. With the human holiday of Christma-"

"_SANNTAAAA_!"

Optimus shook his head, but any attempt at being the stern leader was lost in the shaking of his shoulders and his repeated failures to remain stoic and commanderish. Oh, he was trying! He was just...failing...miserably...

Sam was trying to crawl away and save himself. Anybot listening could hear his pleading, gasping 'S-S-STAHP!' as he choked on his laughter.

Ironhide's optic had developed an alarming twitch.

Prowl's helm began to smoke.

And Ratchet? Well Ratchet was clearly enjoying himself, and _not_ afraid to bask in the misery of the other bots around him. "-approaching quickly, I fear that Christma-"

"_SANNTAAAA_!"

:_Seriously, Ratch_?: Ironhide's helm twitched slightly and he _literally_ growled. Like a rabid beast. :_I slagging hate you_!:

Optimus snorted in an entirely unmechly way.

Ratchet only smirked wider, optics glinting. :_You know what, Prime? I think I might leave this glitch for a while._:

Prime facepalmed.

Ratchet's voice hitched briefly. "-w-will be the primary topic of all discussion both on base and off." Then he blinked, seemingly sobering briefly. "However, I would highly recommend these two, and any other potentially infected bots, remain on base until this problem is resolved. It may be difficult to convince the humans we are 'normal cars' when just the mere mention of Christma-"

"_SANNTAAAA_!"

"-brings about _that_ response." And he was grinning _all_ over again!

By this point there wasn't a human in the vicinity who wasn't laughing until they cried. Especially with the increasingly _deadly_ looks on Ironhide and Prowl's face plates. Those that couldn't walk were retreating in shaky army crawls across the ground, trying to get _away_ from the bots who looked ready to dismantle their own allies.

Optimus smirked behind his mask as Ratchet finally trailed off, before nodding. "Agreed. Until we get this glitch sorted out, it might be best if Ironhide and Prowl remain on base for Christma-"

"_SANNTAAAA_!"

Ironhide groaned. :_Oh, come on Prime_! _Not you, too_!:

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**xXx**

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**Author's Note**: I can't remember if it's spelled Mikeala or Mikaela so bear with me if I spell it wrong, please.

**Written** : Nov 18, 2014

Hope you like it.

Read and Review please.

Thank you.

'Kitten.


	2. Christmas Day

**Disclaimer** : I don't own Transformers or any of it's affiliates. Only my OC(s)

**Note** : So the twins pranked Ironhide and Prowl and there was _no_ payback? Uh, no. Not on _that_ base. It _was_ going to be a one-shot but didn't feel complete so here's the payback.

**Summary** : It's almost Christmas time, and the twins are up to no good. Again.

**xXx**

**xXx**

**xXxInsertCleverPageBreakHerexXx**

**(Christmas Day)**

It was Christmas day, and the base was decorated to the nines.

Families who were in the know about the bots were brought in to celebrate the holidays with their loved ones, while other soldiers left the base to go visit _their_ loved ones. The main hangar, where the festivities were taking place, was being decorated with last minute touch ups. Soldiers and civilians alike hung from rafters, ladders and Autobot fingers as they finished with the tinsel and ornaments, while Bumblebee and Jazz held the tree in place and more soldiers secured the base so it wouldn't topple over.

"Hey, Sam!"

The boy who was helping to place the smaller of the presents under the tree (once it was erected) looked up. His eyes scouted the area, before landing on his beautiful girlfriend, and a blinding smile crossed his features.

Mikaela wore a short red form fitting dress with a simple white belt, white knee high, high heeled boots with a cute little Santa hat on the top of her head. Her hair had been slightly curled and left down, and she held a small box in her hand.

"Hey, beautiful! Merry Christma-"

"_SANNTAAAA_!"

Everyone jumped and turned towards the voice.

Ironhide, who had been trying to sneak through the room, froze, mid-step.

Mikaela winced. "Sorry, 'Hide!"

His optics were wide, but narrowed dangerously at her briefly, before a snicker had him turning with a feral growl towards the two bots standing at the entrance to the main hangar. "Don't tempt me, you two slaggers!" Then he smirked. "Did I forget to mention: Nice paint jobs?"

The chuckles turned to growling engines as the two giant, robotic Christmas elves stared down at their green and red paint jobs with identical glowers.

Then Sunstreaker glanced up and grinned widely at Ironhide. "Hey, 'Hide, did _we_ forget to mention: Merry _Christma_-"

"_SANNTAAAA_!"

The twins were so busy laughing at Ironhide's almost _literally_ steaming head that neither of them noticed Ratchet sneaking up behind them, until-

"Silent Night."

Abruptly, both twins stiffened and began swaying back and forth.

_**Silent night, holy night.**_

_**All is calm, all is bright.**_

_**Round yon virgin, mother and child.**_

_**Hoy infant, tender and mild.**_

Ratchet leaned back, arms folded over his chest plates and a _thoroughly_ pleased look on his face plates, while Fig choked on his hot chocolate on his way past the bots.

Lennox grinned as he walked by, snickering to himself at the deadly looks on the twins' faces as they were forced to stand there, sway gently back and forth, and play the song just loudly enough for the music to fill the hangar. "Ratchet, gotta say, love your revenge." He patted the medibot's foot plating before heading back over to the tree.

Ratchet only nodded briefly and walked past the bots.

"Hey, Ratch-"

"See me after the party, Ironhide, and I'll fix the glitch for you and Prowl. Consider that _my_ Christma-"

"_SANNTAAAA_!"

And cue optic twitch from the big black bot across from him.

Ratchet was hard pressed _not_ to look amused as he cleared his throat. "I apologize. See me after the party and consider that my gift to you." Ducking away, he headed out of the room, presumably to head for his med bay.

Ironhide didn't wait around for a round two, and also hurried out of the room.

The twins finished their songs and began to speak to each other in their native language. For the most part, they were ignored. Optimus was in the far corner, transformed into his semi mode. It _might_ have been presumed he was recharging, if Ironhide and Prowl didn't keep going off every ten minutes or so, when they happened across a human wishing another a 'Merry Christmas'.

Regardless, they were locked optics, chattering quietly.

Well, until Sideswipe said something and snickered.

And Sunstreaker hit him.

**CLANG!**

Suddenly, the two launched at each other and fell out of the door way, pummeling at each other and shouting the entire time. They brawled with a ferocity that would make the younger twins look like saints in comparison. They were so caught up that apparently neither noticed the loud venting the semi let out as it pulled out of its spot and over their way, before exploding and transforming into the twenty-eight foot tall Autobot leader, who watched them both with narrowed optics and crossed arms.

Sam snickered and turned to Mikaela. "So yeah, apparently Ratchet was amused with Ironhide and Prowl's glitches and decided not to fix them."

Mikaela snorted with amusement. "Oh, I noticed. I also noticed someone rewired the twins to sing Christma-"

"_SANNTAAAA_!"

The duo jerked and turned to find a scowling Prowl hurrying through the room on his way past. Seeing the look in his optics, _both_ snorted, while Jazz cuffed Bee on the arm lightly and the two mechs laughed freely.

"Uh, _holiday_ carols."

"Right. Huh, you know, I could go for some good Chri-" Pausing briefly, he glanced around for Prowl or Ironhide. Once he cleared the fact both were M.I.A, and caught the amused smirks around him, he cleared his throat and turned back. "-some good Christmas carols. What do you think?"

Mikaela grinned. "Well, the twins just finished Silent Night-"

_**Silent night, holy night.**_

_**All is calm, all is bright.**_

_**Round yon virgin, mother and child.**_

_**Hoy infant, tender and mild.**_

The twins, still brawling, immediately went rigid and began to sway side to side on the ground as the music issued from their speakers.

Mikaela's grin turned feral at the amused look Prime slanted her way as she effectively stopped their fighting. "Nah, I think I prefer Jingle Bells."

_**Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingles all the way.**_

_**Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh. **_

_**HEY!**_

_**Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way-**_

"I'm more of a Frosty the Snowman fan, myself." Sam stated, while matching an evil grin of his own.

_**Frosty the snowman was a jolly happy soul.**_

_**With a corn cob pipe and a button nose,**_

_**and two eyes made out of coal.**_

"Deck the Halls?" His beautiful girlfriend tilted her head inquisitively, eyes sparkling, grinning widely at the twin glares promising pain sent from the prone forms on the ground.

_**Deck the halls with bows of holly,**_

_**Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la.**_

"Jingle bell rock!"

Sunstreaker growled and Sideswipe flopped over on his back beside his brother.

_**Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock.**_

_**Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring.**_

_**Snowing and blowing up bushels of fun.**_

_**Now the jingle hop has begun.**_

"You know what? I like that one!" With a light kiss to the cheeks, Mikaela began to laugh at the two steaming twins who were _so_ angry, the snow was literally steaming away around them.

Prime said nothing but shook his head and headed back to his corner.

The twins were suffering enough already.

:_Aww, come on, Prime! Don't leave us like this!_: Sideswipe's pleading voice sounded across his internal comms. :_We're sorry!_:

:_Not half as sorry as you will be by the time the night is out._: With an evil smirk of his own, Prime watched the humans as they went about their holiday plans.

:_But...but...Priimmmeeeee!_:

He muted his internal comms as he vented quietly.

"Hey, Prime!"

Locking optics on the humans before him, he cocked his head, realizing Mikaela was holding a small, wrapped box up towards him.

Well, small for _him_.

It took up both of Mikaela's hands, and she held it up, giving it a ginger shake. "Merry-" She paused, looked around warily, and then giggled a bit when she realized what she was doing. Shaking her head, she turned back. "Happy Holidays, Optimus." When he still stared blankly, she rolled her eyes. "It's human custom to exchange gifts with family and friends."

"Yes, I did read as much on your worldwide web. However, I have nothing for you." He knelt down slowly.

"Optimus..." She lowered her hands a bit, her expression sobering. "You gave up your Allspark for us. You fight every day by our side to protect our world. You fight for our lives _and_ our freedom. I'd say you've already given us all one hell of a gift."

Blinking briefly, the Prime bowed his head at her words, truly touched. Reaching out, he gingerly took the box, before realizing- "I, ah, may need some assistance-"

"Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer!" Epps' voice had the trio glancing his way.

The twins slanted him a dirty look from where they now stood back at the door again.

_**Grandma got run over by a reindeer,**_

_**Walking home from our house Christmas eve.**_

_**You can say there's no such thing as Santa,**_

_**But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.**_

Mickey shook her head and leaned forward, catching Optimus' attention. With a smile at the older bot, she reached out and began to unwrap the paper and opened the box within, before gingerly pulling out a small, sparkling metallic item.

Optimus' optics widened.

"Jazz told me about the crystal forests on Cybertron. I'm a mechanic, not an artist, but I thought I'd give it a try. Sam helped me when he could, with the etching and shading."

In his palm he held a small, crystalline Cyber-lily. The petals were long, expertly curved, and etched with designs he remembered all too well. It wasn't identical to the _actual_ flowers, but he could instantly tell that Mikaela had put a great deal of thought and effort into it, and nodded at her with a small quirk of his lip plates.

"You _both_ have my thanks. It is lovely. I truly appreciate it."

Sam grinned back.

"Rusty Chevrolet!"

"I resent that!" Bee shouted, finally speaking up.

_**Dashing through the snow in my rusty Chevrolet.**_

"Eight months ago, you resembled that!" Sam shouted back, grinning at the pout the yellow bot sent him, even as Mikaela cracked up, remembering just what he was talking about.

_**Down the road I go, sliding all the way.**_

_**I need new piston rings. I needs some new snow tires.**_

_**My car is held together by a piece of chicken wire!**_

"Merry Christma-"

"_SANNTAAAA_!"

Sam paused and blinked over at Ironhide and Prowl. The two bots had re-appeared and were standing on the tarmac not too far outside the hangar. Both bots had gone still, and Sam 'Eep!'ed when Prowl promptly glitched and Ironhide growled.

"Well, at least he's not glitching _every_ time it happens." Sarah snickered as she walked past, Annabelle teething away in her arms.

Ironhide muttered to himself about 'fleshies' and 'reconsidering Prime's rules about offlining fellow Autobots' before turning and walking off. :_Ratchet! We need to talk! That glitch-_:

: _After the holidays, Ironhide. Not a moment before._:

:_But-_:

:_Continue to pester me and I won't fix it at all!_:

Optimus dimmed his optics. His version of 'rolling his eyes'. Venting, he glanced over to where Ironhide had grabbed Prowl by an ankle and was standing there.

:_...So does that mean I should leave Prowl lying on the tarmac...?_:

:..._What?_:

:_Prowl glitched because of the glitch. Again._:

:_Oh, slag! All right then, bring him in._:

Ironhide hummed quietly and with an abrupt about face, he hauled Prowl's prone form off behind him by the ankle he was clutching. When one of the twins dared to snicker, he stopped cold and turned to look over his shoulder at them with a slow, deadly smirk. "Sleigh Bells Ringing."

_**Sleigh bells ringing,**_

_**Just hear those sleigh bells-**_

"Happy Holidays, Optimus." Sam laughed quietly.

Optimus grinned slowly. "And Happy Holidays to you, too, Sam."

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**xXx**

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**Note** : Not sleep-deprived work. I'm glad so many people liked the first chapter. Thank you all for your positive feedback. I don't feel it's my best work, but A) I'm struggling with writer's block, and B) I'm writing it while distracted.

**Written** : Nov 20, 2014

Hope you like it.

Read and Review please.

Thank you.

'Kitten


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